Imagine walking on a beach. Having a good, watching the waves, sharing the sunset with your loved one, enjoying your life. No worries about the past, just plans for the future! Suddenly, a wave, a huge one crashes into you. Gets you by surprise, but you stand up. The comfort of your plans for the future enable you to regain your ground. Holding his hand, you stand up, and start walking again.. But fate had something else in store. This time, there was an ever bigger wave. You see it building up in the sea. It kept getting bigger with each passing hour. There was no escaping it, you know it. You wish that its a dream, and you are going to wake up to reality soon. Alas... You hold on to each other as the big one comes crashing on your dreams. Within no time, the storm is gone. There are just pieces to be picked up. No time to react to the happiness or sorrow.
Four days.. thats all it takes for your life to turn a whole 180 degrees.
Can you explain this? You try to take a philosophical view "Everything happens for a reason", while wondering "What the h*** could this reason be?" Sure! twenty years down the line, you will look back and know what the "reason" is.. but how do you deal with now?
Parts of it feel as a bad dream, but I am still living a part of it. Every hour, every day. Don't know for how long.. Maybe this world just needs skeptical people, and there is no place for positiveness and happiness.. or maybe just not in my world.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Friday, November 09, 2007
Managing Memories
Do you sometimes wish that you could manage your memories? You know, like remove some, edit some other, enhance some - just like digital pictures? I wish I could do that. Or wish my brain would become like that of a new born baby, where they have no memories - in my case, have no bad memories. Of course, our brain already does the management for us, but I wish that I had some control on it.
Sometimes I feel that I have so much crap in my head, there is absolutely no space for more. And I feel like to make space, our CPU of a brain deletes the good memories, it just doesn't clean up the bad ones! Its like a read+write permission problem - (no problems with executing it at all.. Always there, with the first keystroke! ).
Oh well, I am being overly sensitive - its Diwali time and I am missing home. I usually don't, but this year I am! Diwali usually marks the beginning of my personal festive season - Diwali, Thanksgiving, Anniversaries, Birthday, New year! I guess I just jinxed it by saying that "Nothing can bring me down this time of the year!". Now I know better :)
Happy Diwali all! I hope you all have a delightful year! :)
Sometimes I feel that I have so much crap in my head, there is absolutely no space for more. And I feel like to make space, our CPU of a brain deletes the good memories, it just doesn't clean up the bad ones! Its like a read+write permission problem - (no problems with executing it at all.. Always there, with the first keystroke! ).
Oh well, I am being overly sensitive - its Diwali time and I am missing home. I usually don't, but this year I am! Diwali usually marks the beginning of my personal festive season - Diwali, Thanksgiving, Anniversaries, Birthday, New year! I guess I just jinxed it by saying that "Nothing can bring me down this time of the year!". Now I know better :)
Happy Diwali all! I hope you all have a delightful year! :)
Friday, September 28, 2007
Remembrance..
Just a reminder to all .. tell your loved ones that you love them everyday. You never know what turn life would take..
Today is 2 year anniversary of our baby leaving us. The tears have dried up, the hurt is gone.. All that remain are sweet memories of our Pilloo and the love for him in our hearts..
Jo loves to see photos of all family and friends and recite their names.. Each one of us has a unique name "Aaaji" "Abujaa" "Maashi" "Mo/Moonan" "Wowee" "gauuu" "Aruna" "Tatha" "Paati".. :D Until last week, any photo of Pepsi would be referred to as "Doggy". This week, She and I were going through this exercise, going about reciting names for each photo on our fridge. I point to Pepsi and ask her who that was, expecting her to say "Doggy" or "bho-bho". She said "Pepsi Mama"... This was it - I had passed on his memory to our next generation.. Jo will grow up hearing his funny stories and through them, we will live and relive his memories :)
Pepsi, love you forever and ever. We shall meet again..
Today is 2 year anniversary of our baby leaving us. The tears have dried up, the hurt is gone.. All that remain are sweet memories of our Pilloo and the love for him in our hearts..
Jo loves to see photos of all family and friends and recite their names.. Each one of us has a unique name "Aaaji" "Abujaa" "Maashi" "Mo/Moonan" "Wowee" "gauuu" "Aruna" "Tatha" "Paati".. :D Until last week, any photo of Pepsi would be referred to as "Doggy". This week, She and I were going through this exercise, going about reciting names for each photo on our fridge. I point to Pepsi and ask her who that was, expecting her to say "Doggy" or "bho-bho". She said "Pepsi Mama"... This was it - I had passed on his memory to our next generation.. Jo will grow up hearing his funny stories and through them, we will live and relive his memories :)
Pepsi, love you forever and ever. We shall meet again..
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Toilets..
Okay, so this blog may gross some of you completely! But hey, it is MY blog :)
Have you ever been to a public restroom (especially the one at work) and found that it has not been flushed??? It completely disgusts me to see that people are either so unclean, unhygienic or so absorbed in their thoughts that they forget to flush?? I mean, all it takes is a few seconds to check whether everything has been flushed? C'Mon Women!! Won't you expect that people at your workplace are educated enough to know that a toilet MUST be flushed!!!
When I was at my old workplace, I thought of doing some social service. I printed out about 10 copies of a notice that said " PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT THE TOILETS ARE FLUSHED! " (or something to that effect) and pasted them, one weekend, on every available door, on the inside and the outside. Being a CAD engineer by profession, I tend to think of all possible scenarios for "testing". I was feeling quite satisfied that I had covered all "test scenarios" - no woman could escape (while entering or leaving or washing her hands) without reading the notice and will shame her into ensuring the toilet she had just used was flushed and clean - as she would expect the next time she walked into one of them. Come Monday, I noticed that most of the notices were torn and some of the women were back to their wonderful habits! I work(ed) at a large company - it wasn't wrong to expect that EVERYONE would know how to read ENGLISH!!! or was it??
I gave up! It was no use.. We must have some employees, who really couldn't read.
After I changed jobs a few months ago, I noticed the same trends here as well! I just can't understand how women can be like this (I keep saying women because I have never been to a Men's bathroom before - oh, except that one time in Loveland downtown when the women's tiolet was locked and I couldnt have possibly have waited another hour to get back to Fort Collins!! But I digress :) ).
This is a request to all the women in the world who use toilets - Please Please keep the toilets clean. You are not in your home country anymore, where you have less water, or different kind of toilets. Please take a few minutes to flush.. It is my humble request on behalf of all the hygiene freaks like me..
Hope one day, I will live to see women everywhere doing their part for world sanitation!
Have you ever been to a public restroom (especially the one at work) and found that it has not been flushed??? It completely disgusts me to see that people are either so unclean, unhygienic or so absorbed in their thoughts that they forget to flush?? I mean, all it takes is a few seconds to check whether everything has been flushed? C'Mon Women!! Won't you expect that people at your workplace are educated enough to know that a toilet MUST be flushed!!!
When I was at my old workplace, I thought of doing some social service. I printed out about 10 copies of a notice that said " PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT THE TOILETS ARE FLUSHED! " (or something to that effect) and pasted them, one weekend, on every available door, on the inside and the outside. Being a CAD engineer by profession, I tend to think of all possible scenarios for "testing". I was feeling quite satisfied that I had covered all "test scenarios" - no woman could escape (while entering or leaving or washing her hands) without reading the notice and will shame her into ensuring the toilet she had just used was flushed and clean - as she would expect the next time she walked into one of them. Come Monday, I noticed that most of the notices were torn and some of the women were back to their wonderful habits! I work(ed) at a large company - it wasn't wrong to expect that EVERYONE would know how to read ENGLISH!!! or was it??
I gave up! It was no use.. We must have some employees, who really couldn't read.
After I changed jobs a few months ago, I noticed the same trends here as well! I just can't understand how women can be like this (I keep saying women because I have never been to a Men's bathroom before - oh, except that one time in Loveland downtown when the women's tiolet was locked and I couldnt have possibly have waited another hour to get back to Fort Collins!! But I digress :) ).
This is a request to all the women in the world who use toilets - Please Please keep the toilets clean. You are not in your home country anymore, where you have less water, or different kind of toilets. Please take a few minutes to flush.. It is my humble request on behalf of all the hygiene freaks like me..
Hope one day, I will live to see women everywhere doing their part for world sanitation!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
I Hope You Dance
I heard this on the radio - fell in love with it! Here are the lyrics - Still need to find it to put it on my ipod :) Someday I hope to sing it to my kids!
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Dance...I hope you dance.I hope you dance....I hope you dance.I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Dance...I hope you dance.I hope you dance....I hope you dance.I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)
Monday, July 23, 2007
HP Mania
Its here! The final Harry Potter Book is here!!!
If you haven't read the book and plan to - Pleae STOP here!! DO NOT READ FURTHER!!!!
The following are some thoughts and feelings about this book..
In preparation of the last and final Harry Potter book, I re-read the Half Blood Prince and watched The Order of the Pheonix last week. I was super excited like the millions of fans out there. I was going to make Ravi and Gayu take me to the nearest book store at midnight and buy the book..(We were in Raleigh this weekend - celebrating Rav's birthday, which was great fun!!) Of course, due to social bindings, we didnt make it at midnight, but GnR got us the books when they went for their ice-skating class. We were to have some of our friends over for dinner that saturday night - thankfully, Gayu wanted to cook everything herself- with very little help from us.. I used that time to start off on the book. Like a spoilt-sport, I did check the last 2 pages to see who all lived in the end!!! I know, I know - I couldnt resist! :) Ravi wasnt helping either - he was hell-bent on giving me scenarios of what will happen and to who. Mo had some funny ideas as well..
Anyway.. I read some more after the dinner party was over (thanks to the time difference - I could stay up until at least 12 am CA time). We didnt have any plans for Sunday - just to head back home at 5pm. Gayu and I spent most of our morning reading..I was only at page 100 or so when we had to leave for the airport. At the airport, while checking in, while we waited for the flight, I didnt let go of the book. Every other person had a copy. Everyone was rushing to their gate - to get settled into their seats and read.. I was going to use the next 6 hours of airtime reading most of the book. It was quite dramatic when I finished the last page of the book, the airplane landed in SJC.. I had finshed the book - one of my fastest speeds ever :) Since then I have been thinking of the content..and I am sorry to say that I am quite disappointed with the book.
When I read each of the 6 previous books, I always felt emotional - while and after I had read the book. I vividly remember being sad for 2 whole days after Goblet of Fire. Imagining Harry - a boy of 14 years, living to carry the guilt of the end of some innocent's life. Order of pheonix was just upsetting. Hating Snape as much as Harry for torturing him through the years.. Loving the friendship between Ron/Hermione/Harry. Why wasn't Dumbledore beleiving Harry? Feeling as lonely as Harry.
With Half-Blood prince, laughing at their teen infatuations, mood swings, and feeling that the end is near at the end. They are all so well-written.
When I was reading this book, there were no tears, no smiles. When I was done, I didnt feel anything.. I was hoping for big drama. Of course there was closure on each and every problem JKR opened..But then she opened a new one in this book. I really feel, she shouldnt have. It almost felt like she wrote it - just coz she had to. There were quite a few of questions that remained to be unanswered - like who gave Neville the sword? Wasnt it stolen by the Goblin?
Why werent there more drama while the war continued at Hogwarts? Why did the friends of the order just die - I didnt shed even one tear for it! And there were too many characters..and the ones that already existed, werent given justice. Especially Lord Voldermot. I think they insulted his intelligence..
Of course there were good things -- Snape, Lily and James Potter and what happened that night? The mystery of Dumbledore!
I know that a lot of you will disagree with my opinions.. But I do judge a book by the way it makes me feel. And this one didn't get digested very well! Maybe it was all the hype - I need to read it again and then see if my feelings change :)
Until then! I am glad that the mysteries are over and am happy that Harry is alive. I am happy that he ends up with a great family - something that he longed for 17 years of his lonely life!
Lastly, Thanks JK Rowling for this lovely character and great books. We are glad that you decided to write them :) :)
If you haven't read the book and plan to - Pleae STOP here!! DO NOT READ FURTHER!!!!
The following are some thoughts and feelings about this book..
In preparation of the last and final Harry Potter book, I re-read the Half Blood Prince and watched The Order of the Pheonix last week. I was super excited like the millions of fans out there. I was going to make Ravi and Gayu take me to the nearest book store at midnight and buy the book..(We were in Raleigh this weekend - celebrating Rav's birthday, which was great fun!!) Of course, due to social bindings, we didnt make it at midnight, but GnR got us the books when they went for their ice-skating class. We were to have some of our friends over for dinner that saturday night - thankfully, Gayu wanted to cook everything herself- with very little help from us.. I used that time to start off on the book. Like a spoilt-sport, I did check the last 2 pages to see who all lived in the end!!! I know, I know - I couldnt resist! :) Ravi wasnt helping either - he was hell-bent on giving me scenarios of what will happen and to who. Mo had some funny ideas as well..
Anyway.. I read some more after the dinner party was over (thanks to the time difference - I could stay up until at least 12 am CA time). We didnt have any plans for Sunday - just to head back home at 5pm. Gayu and I spent most of our morning reading..I was only at page 100 or so when we had to leave for the airport. At the airport, while checking in, while we waited for the flight, I didnt let go of the book. Every other person had a copy. Everyone was rushing to their gate - to get settled into their seats and read.. I was going to use the next 6 hours of airtime reading most of the book. It was quite dramatic when I finished the last page of the book, the airplane landed in SJC.. I had finshed the book - one of my fastest speeds ever :) Since then I have been thinking of the content..and I am sorry to say that I am quite disappointed with the book.
When I read each of the 6 previous books, I always felt emotional - while and after I had read the book. I vividly remember being sad for 2 whole days after Goblet of Fire. Imagining Harry - a boy of 14 years, living to carry the guilt of the end of some innocent's life. Order of pheonix was just upsetting. Hating Snape as much as Harry for torturing him through the years.. Loving the friendship between Ron/Hermione/Harry. Why wasn't Dumbledore beleiving Harry? Feeling as lonely as Harry.
With Half-Blood prince, laughing at their teen infatuations, mood swings, and feeling that the end is near at the end. They are all so well-written.
When I was reading this book, there were no tears, no smiles. When I was done, I didnt feel anything.. I was hoping for big drama. Of course there was closure on each and every problem JKR opened..But then she opened a new one in this book. I really feel, she shouldnt have. It almost felt like she wrote it - just coz she had to. There were quite a few of questions that remained to be unanswered - like who gave Neville the sword? Wasnt it stolen by the Goblin?
Why werent there more drama while the war continued at Hogwarts? Why did the friends of the order just die - I didnt shed even one tear for it! And there were too many characters..and the ones that already existed, werent given justice. Especially Lord Voldermot. I think they insulted his intelligence..
Of course there were good things -- Snape, Lily and James Potter and what happened that night? The mystery of Dumbledore!
I know that a lot of you will disagree with my opinions.. But I do judge a book by the way it makes me feel. And this one didn't get digested very well! Maybe it was all the hype - I need to read it again and then see if my feelings change :)
Until then! I am glad that the mysteries are over and am happy that Harry is alive. I am happy that he ends up with a great family - something that he longed for 17 years of his lonely life!
Lastly, Thanks JK Rowling for this lovely character and great books. We are glad that you decided to write them :) :)
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Tu Naa Jaa ...
Repeating myself, My husband and I have had a long distance relationship for a long time (7 years) ! All those years were tough, but we lived through it. We finally started living together last year, and it was quite a year of adjustments! Having to check with your significant other about what food they feel like eating. Watching movies that you both love! Arranging the apartment and keeping it clean :) Yeah, it was a pretty looong year!!! LOL
In the first half of this year, he has been going away for work for a week or so every few weeks.. China, San Diego, San Diego, China. All these trips in a span of 4 months! At first I thought, it would be fun, to live my bachelor(ette) life again..No cooking, no arguments over which TV channel to watch. No fighting to rush to work. Not having to keep the apartment clean..(Yeah, its one of my pet peeves!) Being the queen of my time!!
I enjoyed the first week of his first trip. I watched all girlie movies. Had my girl friends over. Caught up with a lot of my friends. It was wonderful!! But then it got old.. Having to call someone to come and spend time with you. Having to eat what everyone agreed upon and not being able to argue about it. That was quite a turn of events!!
I have been quite miserable - coming home to an empty apartment. Not having anyone to cook for. Or watch TV with. Having to ask someone everytime if they are free to talk or go shopping!!!
Its not as much fun as I had expected!
If Mo reads this, he is definitely going to be amused and I wont hear the last of it!! :) :) But then, why should I complain? I think I am "settled" now. I have everything, when he is around - entertainment, drama, routine aka boredom and a reason to live - Love!!
In the first half of this year, he has been going away for work for a week or so every few weeks.. China, San Diego, San Diego, China. All these trips in a span of 4 months! At first I thought, it would be fun, to live my bachelor(ette) life again..No cooking, no arguments over which TV channel to watch. No fighting to rush to work. Not having to keep the apartment clean..(Yeah, its one of my pet peeves!) Being the queen of my time!!
I enjoyed the first week of his first trip. I watched all girlie movies. Had my girl friends over. Caught up with a lot of my friends. It was wonderful!! But then it got old.. Having to call someone to come and spend time with you. Having to eat what everyone agreed upon and not being able to argue about it. That was quite a turn of events!!
I have been quite miserable - coming home to an empty apartment. Not having anyone to cook for. Or watch TV with. Having to ask someone everytime if they are free to talk or go shopping!!!
Its not as much fun as I had expected!
If Mo reads this, he is definitely going to be amused and I wont hear the last of it!! :) :) But then, why should I complain? I think I am "settled" now. I have everything, when he is around - entertainment, drama, routine aka boredom and a reason to live - Love!!
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